Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Hello, my name is Mark. I'm a ______

My friends Jon and VIkki Ruby has been hanging out in our SOULNET gatherings. I love these guys for the honesty they bring. Jon is a recovering addict who is actively involved in helping others in recovery through Jericho Road Ministries in downtown Ottawa. He and his wife, Vikki, are not ashamed to openly admit their situation and Jon's condition. They remind me that all of us are damaged in some way and addicted to something to cover up that damage. But they also remind me that Jesus offers us a way of recovery.

As I think of my own life, I want to openly declare that I'm damaged. I'm not addicted to drugs, alcohol or any other chemical substance. My damage has to do with feelings of being alone. For some reason, which I have yet to figure out, I really struggle with feelings of loneliness. At this point, I need to say that this has nothing to do with any shortcomings of my friends or family. I feel I have great relationships with people. Yet, in spite of that, I have a tendency to feel that I am alone. Being a leader exacerbates these feelings because everyone knows that "it's lonely at the top." Everyday I feel like I am the only one leading the charge to see our movement, SOULNET, happen.

My friend, Al, has constantly reminded me that I am not alone. And that he hurts when he hears me expressing my loneliness.

Someone once gave me an acronym to remind me about certain conditions that we need to be aware of that puts us in a vulnerable position. When we are in one of these conditions we need to HALT.

H - Hungry
A - Angry
L - Lonely
T - Tired

I've noticed that the times in my life that seemed to be more of a struggle was when I was in one or more of these conditions.

Hello, my name is Mark. I struggle with loneliness.

Back to Blogging

I decided to revive this blog site as a place to put down my personal story: struggles, victories, things that happen to me, things that make me go "hmmmm."